carnagecarnival | We The Lost Mailbox

It has everything to do with her
It affects how you treat her doesn't it?
It affects how I treat her at least
And she knows that
And look we're still friends
Teasing me and things

Wouldn't you want to know?

no
IT MOTHERFUCKING DOESN'T
i'm treating her just the same as i would
IF SHE WAS A STRANGER WHAT I GOT NEW MEETING ON FOR
she ain't my matesprit
AND I AIN'T GOING TO ACT LIKE SHE IS
so why the fuck does it matter?

I WOULD FEEL FUCKING SORRY FOR THE UNFORTUNATE FUCKS WHAT GOT FANCYING ALTERNATE OF ME
i know it wouldn't happen none
BECAUSE I CULL THEM

besides, i ain't keeping a secret
SHE WANTS TO ASK WHAT MY QUADRANTS WAS BEING ABOUT SHE CAN GO RIGHT THE FUCK AHEAD

That's impossible to do!
Because we know what Terezis are like
She's not my moirail and not your matesprit but it doesn't mean she doesn't remind you and me of her!
It's impossible to look at her and not treat her with more fondness because we pitied another version of her
~~Even if I pity her for utterly different reasons now, even if I like her for who she is and not who she resembles, can you really~~

Nefur mind. Don't tell her, go ahead with keeping something she'd want to know from her. And don't fool yourself with thinking she doesn't ask because she doesn't care. She doesn't ask because she nefur suspects she might have been in them.

so fucking what if she makes reminding
SHE REMINDS OF THE NEOPHYTE TOO
that don't mean i got to spill what history the neophyte and i got
IT DON'T MEAN I'D NEED SPILLING OF OUR TEREZI
similar traits might blind as easily as guide
SO I FIGURE HER DIFFERENT
i go about it like i'm meeting her new
WHICH I DID
cause she
WANTS
being separate from all the other shes

I WILL TELL THE DAY SOME FUCKER ASKS ME
her or otherwise
AND NOT A GODDAMN DAY SOONER
because it ain't they's business
BECAUSE IF IT AIN'T ASKED, IT AIN'T IMPORTANT

i don't pity her
AIN'T FEEL THE NEED TO SUGGEST I WOULD
keep making like i'm the motherfucking bad guy if you want it
BUT I AIN'T SEE THIS HURTING HER EVEN IN SLIGHTEST BIT
you ever consider it's being cause you're pale at her that you might figure your own pains or longing is something she ought to know?

If I knew who that was, I'm sure that would make a lot more sense.
But yes, she's obviously different but

Nefur mind.
NEFUR.
MIND.

She knows exactly how I feel about the Terezi from Panem. And she knows she doesn't feel this way about me. And she has a moirail.

And I'm not in the business of trying to break up quadrants. I told Justin that. For the record he didn't believe me either. He hates me now and tried to forbid me to speak to her.

I'm fully capable of keeping my ill-fated feelings to myself thank you!

JUSTIN'S A DUMB FUCKING PILL AND IF SHE WEREN'T BLIND I'D QUESTION WHAT AT SHE SEES IN HIS USELESS ASS
but that ain't the point

YOU GOT YOUR MEANS OF WORKING ABOUT IT
i got for mine
THAT'S HOW WE ARE
this is how we've always been being is
SO I'LL TRUST YOU GOT YOURS ON HOLDING AND YOU JUST TRUST I GOT MINE
and we both trust terezi to bring forth her query and qualm as she sees fit

THE NEOPHYTE IS HER ANCESTOR, BY THE MOTHERFUCKING BY
since you voiced such wondering

[She at least gives herself time to deflate before she replies. And she finds little new she can say. He won't change his mind and neither will she]

She'd want to know

But fine. Okay.
Do what you want.

I just don't want her to get hurt.
I know she doesn't feel the same way but I still want the best for her. I can still sort of understand her, even if I'm not as close to her.

HONK :o(

you know i ain't want her hurt none either
SHE'S HAD ENOUGH OF ALL THAT
don't pity ain't mean i don't care

I'M SORRY
sorry that you's still hurting that is

I don't think I'm still hurting.
It's different.
Like I liked her but then I saw all the problems in her mind by accident. And I've talked to her.
And it's all different.
She's got flaws and problems all her own, a different sort of pitiable.
but i know she'd think it's just me seeing her for the same
so I guess that's why I was so upset

And I don't like hiding things from her. I didn't have to tell her but I wanted to. Needed time away from her to mourn losing my own terezi before I could be her friend and i needed her to understand why I did. And now it's okay. She knows and I know she knows.

I AIN'T KNOW HOW YOU FIGURE
but wanting to help as you do so motherfucking bad
AND BEING LEFT UNABLE
being left wanting
SOUNDS LIKE HURTING TO ME

i ain't even know how shit would be broached
"HI, I DATED SOME SISTER WHAT WAS ANOTHER OF YOU BUT NO MOTHERFUCKING ROMO?"
or spill up on them bulletin boards this was being brought up at?
I DON'T UP AND KNOW

i'm glad it got working for you up at least

I get these feelings all the time Kurloz
You just ignore it until it goes away or they return the feelings

And no. I would not suggest the bulletin board. Maybe a letter. Maybe just tell her. Something personal.

Really, I don't know how you do it. I had to get past the worst of losing Terezi before I could reach back out to her. It hurt. Are you dealing with it? Should I bug Mituna to bug you?

JUST CAUSE YOU DO UPON IT OFTEN
ain't mean it hurts no less

MAYBE

i'm dealing the same ways you is apparent
I AIN'T THINKING ON ABOUT IT
i don't think of what could be happening back where she is
I DON'T THINK ABOUT ANOTHER ME WHAT'S GOT HER AND IF THAT'S BEING ENOUGH
i don't think about what all happens if this place goes to shit sudden and i don't fucking know what to do for it
I DON'T THINK ABOUT HOW ALL OUR FRIENDS OUGHT TO BE HERE
or how bad i miss
OR THE WAYS WHAT THIS ONE REMINDS
and how i won't see the she what's mine never no more

I KEEP MYSELF SANE AS I CAN MAKE MYSELF BE
and be at whatever motherfuckers need of me as beyond that
PUT ON MY PAINT, GO ABOUT MY FUCKING DAY
she needed a friend and so did i
JUST SO HAPPENS I CAN BE SUCH
but that's the best of them things is being
UNTIL SUCH DAYS I CAN'T NO MORE
i'm sure mituna understands

Edited 2015-12-18 21:34 (UTC)

Maybe not but it means I'm used to the sensation
I'm sure this will all go away some day

You know I'm here if you want to hang out right?
I could white out a wall in my hive and start again or something.

Oh hey, you like goats, right?

I DO KNOW
i'd like that
THOUGH I'M WONDERING IF WE OUGHT TO WISH OF MORE WALLS

i like goats, yeah
AM A MOTHERFUCKING GOAT
why?

H33. Just extra walls all up in there for no reason?

And no reason.
None reason
Certainly nothing to do with the time of the season changes that's fur sure.

COULD MAKE IT LIKE A MAZE
or path as what goes through some ways

THAT IS THE LEAST SUSPICIOUS
as a former inquisitional officer
I AM MOTHERFUCKING ON TO YOU
except
WHAT'S BEING ABOUT THESE TIMES AND SEASONAL SWAPPINGS?

Meowbe. Except we might get lost inside it. Nefur to return. Resorting to eating paint and chalk.

And you know! What season was it when we arrived? And what do humans do during that season? And what is that thing they do like?

I purromise you can get this.

Wait it's weird we've almost been here one season cycle already

we'd survive
COULD STAND YOU UPON SHOULDERS AND SEE OURSELVES OUT

it
WAS COLD?
miracle crystals up everywheres
AIN'T KNOW IF HUMANS WAS DOING UPON SHIT DIFFERENTLIKE
seems all the sames as was for current being
:o(

BUT DAMN
guess we have, near
ALMOST FEELS LIKE SOMETHING OUGHT BE DONE

If you aren't tall enough as is

But human 12th perigree!
I know it's not normal but I like the tradition
Well I like the giving gifts part
So yes, there now you know, you're getting a gift

What do you want to do?

oh
UH
i
DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW ON FUCK ALL AS WHAT'S
normal twelfth perigees
AIN'T EXACTLY NEVER WAS ABLE TO BE DOING IT
so you just
FIND ON GIFTINGS TO BE DONE?

ain't know
A RITE OF SOME KIND
passage as for the past
KICK US OFF FUTUREWAYS
prayer for things come new
SOMETHING SPECIAL

Well I think you usually just gift to quadrants? Who knows how it is for Alternia now.
But I always did all four of us on Alternia.
But yeah I suppawse? Just gifting.
I like giving more than recieving anyways.

You're the rite specialist.
But we'll figure it out.
Something special.

[A series of drawings decorate the bottom of the letter. It's a tiny Meulin with her lusus, dragging in the leaving followed by the four rebels around a campfire exchanging small things. Below it is a picture of the Disciple holding a glass book and a giant X marked through it all. Then a picture of her holding out a bag to Iz.]

[The pictures surprise but bring a smile. She's cute. And it's nice seeing these little viewings into her life and meanings.]

aight
I CAN BE ABOUT THAT
just let me know there ain't be anymore rules or none
:o)

There's no more rules!
It's just gift giving
Don't worry so much

And you don't have to give me anything

YOU GAVE UNTO WHAT FAMILY WAS YOURS DIDN'T YOU?
i'll find for something.

Okay Kurloz
:PP
but I won't be upset if you can't figure out something

(no subject)

carnagecarnival - 2015-12-20 01:21 (UTC) - Expand