carnagecarnival | We The Lost Mailbox

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We The Lost Mailbox

The Initiate | 1338 Pound Cake Lane

1ZZY

1M NOT SUR3 WH4T TO S4Y. 1 TH1NK 1 SHOULD B3 FL4TT3R3D. G4MZ33 S41D SOM3TH1NG S1M1L4R WH3N 1 TOOK H1M 1N, BUT 1 DONT TH1NK TH4T YOU 4R3 4NY MOR3 R1GHT TH4N H3 W4S. W3 4R3 NOT 4S GOOD 4S W3 L1K3 TO TH1NK W3 4R3. W3 TH1NK TOO H1GHLY OF OURS3LV3S. W3 TRY SO H4RD B3C4US3 1N OUR M1NDS W3 4R3 TH3 ONLY ON3S WHO C4N DO WH4T W3 DO. OR SHOULD DO WH4T W3 DO. W3 M4K3 D3C1S1ONS FOR OTH3RS 1N W4YS TH4T DONT 4LW4YS H3LP TH3M B3C4US3 W3 TH1NK W3 KNOW WH4TS B3ST. W3 DONT KNOW HOW TO L3T OTH3RS M4K3 TH31R OWN M1ST4K3S, 3SP3C14LLY TH3 P3OPL3 W3 C4R3 4BOUT.

OR M4YB3 TH4TS JUST M3. WHO KNOWS. BUT 1 WOULDNT R34LLY C4LL TH4T GOOD.

H4V3 YOU 4SK3D H3R WHY SH3 STUCK 4ROUND? 1M SUR3 TH3R3 1S 4 R34SON. 1 C4NT SP34K FOR H3R MYS3LF, 3V3N 1F 1 PR3T3ND TO KNOW WH4T SH3S TH1NK1NG B4S3D ON MY OWN THOUGHTS. M4YB3 SH3 FOUND 4 LOOPHOL3 FOR YOU. M4YB3 1T W4SNT 4 S3COND CH4NC3 TH4T SH3 W4S G1V1NG YOU. M4YB3 TH4T W4S YOUR F1RST CH4NC3.

1F M4K4R4S 4R3 DR4WN TO P3OPL3 WHO 4R3 GOOD, 1 TH1NK PYROP3S 4R3 DR4WN TO P3OPL3 WHO N33D US. TO P3OPL3 WHO G1V3 US 4 PURPOS3. PEOPLE WHO ASP1R3 TO SOM3TH1NG WORTHWH1L3. PEOPLE WHO N33D 4 SHOULD3R TO L34N ON. 4ND FOR THOS3 P3OPL3 WHO G1V3 US 4 PURPOS3, W3 C4N FORG1V3 4LMOST 4NYTH1NG. TH3 F4CT TH4T TH3Y N33D US, TH4T PUTS TH3 R3SPONS1B1L1TY ON US TO ST33R TH31R F4T3.

W3R3 YOU TH4T SOM3ON3 FOR H3R? M4YB3 TH4TS WHY W3 K33P G3TT1NG DR4WN TO YOU TOO.

1M 4FR41D 1 C4NT 4DV1S3 YOU ON HOW TO 4PPRO4CH H3R W1TH 1T. 1 C4NT S4Y 1M TOO H4PPY W1TH TH1S D3STRUCT1ON GOD 31TH3R. F1R3 DO3SNT F33L, DO3SNT TH1NK. 1T JUST 1S. BUT GODS 4R3 ST1LL P3OPL3. TH3Y C4N CHOOS3 TO 4CT, 4ND TH4T CHO1C3 M34NS TH3Y C4N B3 H3LD R3SPONS1BL3.

BUT 1 4M NOT GO1NG TO T3LL YOU HOW TO T4K3 YOUR GODS TO T4SK. 1 ONLY C4R3 TH4T G4MZ33 1S S4F3. H3 WONT H34R 4BOUT 4NY OF TH1S FROM M3. NOT UNL3SS YOU G1V3 TH3 WORD.

-AL3TH314

ALETHEIA

i guess that's being what's different ain't it? YOU'RE BEING ALL THEM THINGS TOO. you all are. BUT FROM THE OUTSIDE, IT JUST DON'T MATTER AS MUCH. maybe when things come apart and shit gets to strife. MAYBE WHEN IT HURTS PEOPLE. but from on out, there's more good to be seen. MAYBE IT'S LIKE THAT FOR EVERYONE.

i feel i've asked. MAYBE I JUST GOT EXPRESSING CONFUSION UP OVER IT AND SHE GOT CORRECTING. she's told me there's difference because i changed but she gave me that chance before that was being the haps. SHE'S TOLD ON AT TO ME THAT SHE SAW ME PAINTING LIKE THAT MEANT ANYTHING. like my ownself as the grand high don't paint every damn day.

... I TOLD HER I WASN'T SURE HOW TO BE DOING IT ALL. she wanted me to get on apologetic for some shit ill what i did. AFTER SHE GOT TELLING ME I'D STAYED AND GOT ME HOOKED THE FUCK IN THERE. i didn't know how to give what she wanted. WHEN WE GOT TO MEETING AGAIN, I ASKED HER TO HATE ME. figured then i could let go. BUT SHE DIDN'T. she went trying to show me how for all everything.

THEN WHEN I RAN UP INTO THE NEOPHYTE, SHE GOT LIKE IT WAS HER FAULT SHE COULDN'T FUCKING UNDO WHAT I WAS IN MY FUTURE. like if she had more time. LIKE IT WAS HER GODDAMN JOB INSTEAD OF A FREEDOM GETTING AWAY FROM ME.

~~i'm a sucker. FUCKING MESS I AM, NO WONDER. i'm a project and i've just used~~

I UNDERSTAND NOW. clear is it coming to be. BEEN SO GRATEFUL FOR THE HELP ALL THIS TIME. i never thought it like this.

ACTION IT WAS OF THE LORD. choice and all. BUT I THINK IT'S STILL MORE COMPLICATED THAN ALL THAT. and i ain't really think i can explain.

I KNOW YOU'RE NOT HER. but you're a pyrope. EVEN IF THINGS IS DIFFERENT, THERE'LL BE SAMENESS. just like with me and gamzee. I'VE KNOWN HER ALL THIS TIME BUT I THINK THIS IS BEING A PIECE WHAT I GOT MISSING. maybe now i can map this on out.

BUT REST ASSURED ALL EITHER WAY, GAMZEE IS NOT GOING TO GO ON THROUGH NONE OF THAT NOISE WHAT ALL HE DID. from now the fuck on, i'll see to it that the only makara name what gets on association with such ills is the grand high.

AND

if you ever got wanting on for sharing an elixir over all anything, i'd be about it. SOUNDS A WRINGER YOU GOT GOING THROUGH TO BE PRYING THIS OUT. i can emphasize, is all. BUT IF YOU AIN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT NOTHING, AIN'T GOT TO BE NO BIG THING OF IT NEITHER. open offer. HOWEVER ALL YOU WISH.

-izzekiel.

1ZZY

1 COULD T4K3 YOU UP ON TH4T. 1TS NOT L1K3 TH1S 1S D1FF1CULT TO SH4R3. 1TS B33N 4 WH1L3 S1NC3 1 L34RN3D 4LL OF TH1S, 4ND 1 H4V3 H4D T1M3 TO D1G3ST 1T. 1 JUST THOUGHT TH4T YOU SHOULD KNOW B3FOR3 YOU BUTT YOUR H34D 4G41NST TH4T P4RT1CUL4R...P3RSON4L1TY TR41T. 4ND 1T M1GHT M4K3 TH1NGS 34S13R FOR H3R TO B3 4BL3 TO L3T TH4T GO.

JUST...DONT CONS1D3R YOURS3LF 4 PROJ3CT. YOUR3 MOR3 TH4N TH4T, 1M SUR3. YOUR3 R1GHT, W3 DO T3ND TO THROW OURS3LV3S 1NTO TH1NGS R3G4RDL3SS OF WH4T W3 G3T B4CK FROM TH3M. BUT W3 ONLY TRY SO H4RD B3C4US3 W3 FOUND SOM3TH1NG WORTHWH1L3 1N TH3 F1RST PL4C3.

L3T M3 KNOW WH3N YOU W4NT TO H4NG. 1 W1LL B3 4ROUND.

-4L3TH314

ALETHEIA,

truth be told, butting this nug of mind up against it is something what I've probably been doing a long damn time already. BUT CONSIDER THESE UNDERSTANDINGS KICKED LEGIT. maybe i can get the door this time up instead of the motherfucking wall.

I GET WHAT YOU'RE MEANING AT. them old alterances what don't sting so much no more.

I'LL NOT TELL HER I SAID THAT. i don't want her getting comparison to some others, if you get me. SHE IS BETTER ALL THAN THAT.

thank you, aletheia.

I'LL GET ON TELLING IT ON AT TO YOU THAT I'M DOWN AND FREE. looking the motherfuck on forward to it. :o)

-IZZEKIEL

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