We The Lost Mailbox

[carnagecarnival]

 
The Initiate | 1338 Pound Cake Lane

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[carnagecarnival]

SORRY.
I FIGURED IT CAME CLOSE.

I'M

NO. I'M NOT.
BUT I AM?
IT'S COMPLICATED.

I LIVED THE MEMORY
I WAS THE ME WHAT WAS YOUNG GETTING ON THROUGH THAT DAYMARE BUSINESS AND

IT REALLY WAS THE MESSIAHS
ONE OF THEM
THE LORD
THE DESTROYER OF THE TWO
I [He relives the moment every time he thinks of it, as though it's been scoured into his memory. Most motherfucking likely, it is.]

THE VAST HONK
IT WAS AS FORETOLD ONLY I SAW IT THEN IN MY MEMORY BEFORE IT HAPPENED I SAW IT SISTER AND THE MOTHER FUCKIN SOUND IT
I


THE LORD WILLED ME TO TAKE APART OUR SESSION
TO CREATE ALTERNIA AND INVITE HIS MOTHERFUCKING COMING
TO BRING ABOUT THE UNDOING
WAS LIKE HIS GREATNESS REACHED INSIDE AND TOOK ALL OF ME OUT, SCRAPING UP MY MOTHERFUCKING GUTS, BURNING ME ALL OUT FROM INSIDE, AND I COULDN'T CARE NO MORE NOT ABOUT YOU NOT ABOUT HER HOLINESS, LADY OF CREATION, ONLY

I DIDN'T LET IT FINISH.
I MADE IT ALL TO STOP BEFORE I WAS BEING TO LIVE IT ALL.
YOU WERE PLEADING, I HEARD YOU, I COULDN'T DO IT AGAIN I COULDN'T
SO I STOPPED IT, THE MEMORY [This paper will be ruinous by the time he's done with it. It all brings him back so sharp and he's leaking all over again.]


I FEEL STRANGE
MY PAN ACHES
I FEEL IT IN MY THROAT
THE FLUCTUATIONS I GOT OFF IS BEING BACK
I FELT IT IN MY SOUL LIKE IT WAS TEARING ME
I AIN'T ALL HOLLOW AS I WOULD'VE BEEN MADE AT TO BE BUT
I FEEL
LIKE I AIN'T CONNECTED?
LIKE I'M ALL BEING HALF HERELIKE
I AIN'T SLEPT FULL SINCE
I FEEL THE COMMANDS AS IS CARVED INTO ME AND IT SCARES ME
I'M ALL FILLED THE FUCK UP WITH FEAR


BUT
BUT I STILL FEEL
I'M STILL HERE
I GOT ON BRINGING IT BACK AND I DIDN'T LOSE MYSELF COMPLETE
IT WORKED
I GOT TO KEEP MY WORD
AND I KNOW WHAT IT BEING IS NOW

I THOUGHT THE MESSIAHS WAS REACHING THROUGH VOODOO
THEY WERE
BUT IT WASN'T MINE
IT WAS THEIRS
THEY HAVE IT TOO
THAT'S WHY I COULDN'T HEAL BEFORE, THAT'S WHY IT WAS LASTING EVEN WHEN WE WERE DEAD
IT'S CHUCKLEVOODOO

IT FELT FAMILIAR


IT'S A LOT TO PROCESS SISTER
I DON'T THINK OKAY IS A THING WHAT I CAN BE YET
BUT I'M OKAY AS LIKE I WILL BE
AND NO ONE'S GOT TO GET HURT
NOT ANYMORE

THIS WASN'T A MISTAKE TO BE DOING.