The Initiate Fraysong ♑ (Young GHB) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
carnagecarnival) wrote2015-01-06 05:44 pm
carnagecarnival) wrote2015-01-06 05:44 pm
Entry tags:
We The Lost Mailbox
The Initiate | 1338 Pound Cake Lane
The Initiate | 1338 Pound Cake Lane
The Initiate | 1338 Pound Cake Lane
April 15th - Evening
I'm sure you're already doing so, but I'd appreciate it if you could check in on Aletheia. I honestly didn't mean to upset her today with my message. I'm not going to stop being a doctor, but I'll see to offering my services more discreetly if it's going to cause this much of a problem for her and some of the others.
I don't know what she's gone through to put her so against just the idea of people like me existing. But I'll leave off interacting with her, as well, if that's going to cause a problem. I hope you can take care of each other.
Regards,
John
Re: April 15th - Evening
i'm surprised as to see you writing to me, truth be told. BUT IT AIN'T ABOUT ME SO I'LL HOLD TONGUE ON SUCH NOISE.
i know some of what all she's gone through, natural. I KNOW MUCH OF THE WORST WHAT THE MEADOUS HAS GONE THROUGH. but i can't talk about it. AT SOME POINT, I AIN'T SURE WHEN, I JUST GOT DECIDING I WASN'T GOING TO SPILLING ILL BY NOBODY. and as much as all you both may hate to hear, she's a lot like you up in at least one respect. ALETHEIA DOES NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT NOTHING. feeling fears like i do doesn't mean being let in. MOST OF THE TIME I HAVE TO LET THEM ALL AROUND SIMPLY BE AND SHE'S ONE OF THEM.
it wasn't small though. AIN'T NONE OF IT'S HARDLY EVER SMALL BY NOBODY. if i may attempt to illuminate, our meadous had gotten quiet for some time. THE LOT OF US GOT A ROUTINE WHAT GOT COMFORTABLE. you're new, and you're fighting up against almost all of that. NOT EVERYONE'S KNOWING IF AT WE CAN TRUST YOU YET ALL THE WHILE. and then bringing all what things is sore for such motherfuckers up into the mix, shit makes calamitous in a pan. ESPECIALLY FOR THOSE OF US WHAT AIN'T NEVER GOT KNOWING WHAT SAFE UP AND IS BEFORE BEING HERE. we don't want to lose that, even to threats what we build up in our minds.
I CAN'T SPEAK FOR HER. mirth knows i've put my foot in my maw enough times late. BUT I THINK AS LIKE IF SHE THOUGHT YOU OUGHT TO BE DEAD TRULY, SHE'D TAKE CARE OF SUCH NOISE HER OWNSELF EVEN IF IT VILIFIED HER. and she ain't being to do that. (WOULDN'T LET IT HAPPEN ANYWAY. but i don't think she would.)
SHE'S NEVER GOING TO LIKE UPON THE DOCTOR BIT. but she might find you've got more at to you, if such things come align. EVERYONE'S JUST SCARED HERE, JOHN. that's all what we is. IF YOU GIVE A SHIT ON ABOUT ANY OF THAT BUSINESS, I'D ADVISE GIVING HER TIME. maybe eventually even saying half of this to her. AND YEAH, IT MIGHT HELP KEEPING THE DOCTOR BIT TO THE WAYSIDE IF YOU'RE REAL SET. if only because she can be stubborn as raging lusus she can. BUT MIRTH KNOWS I CAN UNDERSTAND NOT TRYING NOR WANTING TO HIDE NO BIT OF YOURSELF.
i'm sorry i didn't come in defensive like i ought to have. I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO FIGURE THE FUCK OUT AS WHERE TO STAND WITH YOU THAT YOU'RE PREFERENTIAL TO. aletheia herself can bind me, in an entirely other way as well, not to mention my own business of docterrorists. BUT IT'S A WEAK EXCUSE AND I KNOW IT.
i'll try and talk to her. CAN'T SAY HOW WELL IT'LL BE BEING TO GO BUT I'LL SEE ABOUT IT. and if you're alright by it, i can pass along that you had no intent for upset and are willing to make covert by her.
- MEDIATOR IZZEKIEL
no subject
Mr. Mediator,
You can tell her that, certainly, and you don't need to apologize. I can and will defend myself, as I need to. I walked away from my discussion with her because I saw it wasn't going to do anything but frustrate the both of us. There are some people who won't be told. They need to see. I can deal with that.
Like you said, I'm new. I'm rocking the boat. And I don't like being here. She has every right not to trust me. I'm not going to push it. But when she starts trying to shout me down when there are people who want and maybe need my professional services, that's when I'm going to get angry. You're free to tell her any of that, as well. I'll respect her desire not to deal with it, if she'll respect my right to practice medicine for those who want it.
As for where we stand, you're her friend. That's why I contacted you. I'm not going to be able to talk to her with a clear head, and I doubt she'll be able to talk to me with one, either. That's all. You don't need to stick up for me. Comfort her, if you can. If she wants to hear anything I've said to you, then you can tell her what I've said. If she doesn't, you don't need to tell her anything. I just can tell from her messages that she needs someone right now. Whether it's someone to listen or someone to talk, it can't be me.
Regards,
John
no subject
Most of the time.]
john,
AIGHT. i'll do my motherfucking best. I'LL LET YOU KNOW IF SHE'S WANTING NO MORE.
[There's an irony in that statement of not being told but needing to see. It applies to John himself for fair bit. It's also something what would make Terezi laugh if she were in better spirits. He lets the rest be.]
- mediator izzekiel