[She remembers that story, but not in the detail that he tells it. Before, it was something that he seemed almost proud of. A defining moment that built his character, not... Not a cage that he locked himself in. And everything that followed after... It doesn't sound like him. It sounds like another person entirely. She couldn't imagine him setting fire to a hivestem or torturing another person. It was all so firmly outside of her idea of who he was.
Even back then... She remembers being horrified at what he did to Karkat and Signless. She remembers having her faith in him shaken. She hadn't been sure of who he was back then, and that seemed pretty damning, but she had wanted to give him a chance to defend himself. A chance to explain. What happened instead was less an apology and more a plea for help. And she hadn't thought twice about reaching out to lend that help, provided that he understood her limits.
She knew he was angry, but she had never considered him cruel. She never realized--or maybe she just hadn't wanted to see it. He had been kind to her when she needed it. He had been a friend to her, done all that she asked of him to keep the peace. He had followed every rule, every stipulation... but only after she met him. What was that supposed to mean, then? Did it even matter that there was a before? And what did that say about after? If someone could move so easily between good and bad... Did it make a difference at all what anyone was?
She draws her hands back from him, if only to press them over her ears. She curls in on herself, as if trying to shut out the world. Her eyes close tight, squeezing tears out of the corners.]
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Date: 2017-03-23 07:10 pm (UTC)Even back then... She remembers being horrified at what he did to Karkat and Signless. She remembers having her faith in him shaken. She hadn't been sure of who he was back then, and that seemed pretty damning, but she had wanted to give him a chance to defend himself. A chance to explain. What happened instead was less an apology and more a plea for help. And she hadn't thought twice about reaching out to lend that help, provided that he understood her limits.
She knew he was angry, but she had never considered him cruel. She never realized--or maybe she just hadn't wanted to see it. He had been kind to her when she needed it. He had been a friend to her, done all that she asked of him to keep the peace. He had followed every rule, every stipulation... but only after she met him. What was that supposed to mean, then? Did it even matter that there was a before? And what did that say about after? If someone could move so easily between good and bad... Did it make a difference at all what anyone was?
She draws her hands back from him, if only to press them over her ears. She curls in on herself, as if trying to shut out the world. Her eyes close tight, squeezing tears out of the corners.]